Never Give Seth Pepsi
by AnimeFan-Artemis
Summary: (One-Shot) All yamis can’t eat sugar, except Seto’s yami. But if sugar doesn’t make Seth hyper...what does? Pairings: SethJoey & YamiSeto


Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, Pepsi, or Robin Hood...  
  
Title: Never Give Seth Pepsi  
Rating: PG-13  
Genre: Romance/Humor  
Content: Some mild language, shounen ai, humor, insanity...  
  
Summary: All yamis can't eat sugar, except Seto's yami. But if sugar doesn't make Seth hyper...what does? One-Shot__Pairings: S/J & Y/S  
  


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AnimeFan: (giggles evilly) This is the first of many soon to come stories of mine that has Seth, Seto's yami, in it! It's a one-shot, and it has some cross dressing on Joey's part. This is a good story for people who like Seto/Joey and/or Seto/Yami stories. ^_^ May we all join in the yaoi goodness, except those few that like Tea. (shudders)  
  


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(Prologue)  
  


Seto: (is sitting in a blue armchair, in his pajamas, with a cup of coffee in his hands) Hello everyone. For a time we have all been aware of the ghastly effects of sugar and chocolate on any known yami. Yet there is one among the yamis who can gorge down all the chocolate in the world without so much as getting an inch restless. My yami...Seth. So naturally we believed Seth was impervious to the whole hyper-rush thing. However, we soon learned otherwise....  
  


(Flashback)  
  


It was a bright spring day and everyone was crashing at the Kaiba's mansion. Why there? Well, where else would you crash out with your friends during spring break? As usual, when the word everyone is used...it means everyone. Ryou, Yugi, Tea, Otogi, Mako, Serenity, Joey, Mai, Malik, and Mokuba were all hanging out in the living room playing video games and pigging out on snacks galore. Yami and Seto were lingering a little longer in the kitchen then they should have been. And Honda was wandering around looking for the bathroom. Which, if anyone was familiar with the Kaiba mansion, was quite an impossible feat in itself.   
  
The only people missing from this joyful get together were three of the last people on earth you'd even want to leave alone without supervision. Seth, Marik, and Bakura. (lightening strikes in the background followed by spooky music) Said yami's were lingering in the garage of the Kaiba mansion, with blue print paper and a six pack of icy cold pepsi.   
  
Marik took a swig of the cool beverage and made some doodles on the blue print paper, And here we'll tie up the anvil so that when Yami steps through the door it will fall, triggering the string to pull this little rolly thingy that will swing the boot. The boot will hit the cup, the cup will spill, the water will dissolve the taffy, the taffy will snap, the little lever thingy will fall, the bowling ball will tumble down onto the trigger, and the crossbow will fire the arrow right into the pharaoh's heart!! Ahahahahahaha!!!!   
  
Bakura cocked an eyebrow at the insane blonde, And what will keep the pharaoh from stepping aside and not getting hit?  
  
Marik quit his insane laughter and blinked at the albino, That's a good question, Baku-chan. Seth! What do you think we should do to keep Yami from moving?  
  
Seth blinked out of his little happy place and shrugged, I don't really care about killing off the pharaoh...  
  
Don't you want world domination!!! You've got to want to take over the world! All yami's want to take over the world!! Marik cried out and waved his arms up and down.  
  
Bakura frowned, The pharaoh doesn't...he saves the world.  
  
Well the pharaoh's a pansy! He ain't no real yami, he's more of a shadow then a darkness, Marik stated.   
  
Well, for your information I do want domination... Seth stated wisely, turning his head to the side as he said this. Then he turned back, struck a pose, made a peace sign in the air (like Vash on Trigun), and cried out, TOTAL JOEY DOMINATION!!!  
  
Needless to say, both Marik and Bakura crashed to the ground as Seth laughed an evil insane laugh. Marik sweat dropped and pulled his face up off the floor, looking at Seth in disbelief, Don't you ever think about anything else besides Wheeler!!  
  
Seth wasn't listening cause he was to busy drooling over some mental image with a very hentai expression on his face. Marik sighed and stood back up. Why did he even bother. Bakura followed and went to grab himself another pepsi. He popped it open and took a sip, grabbing two others. He tossed one to Marik, then walked over and shoved the second one into the drooling priest's hands.   
  
Come back to reality and have a drink, Bakura stated firmly and patted Seth sympathetically on his head.   
  
Seth stared down at the drink. He had never had soda before. He flipped open the top and sniffed it experimentally, finally taking a sip and...when it tasted good to him...chugged the whole can down in one go.   
  
WOW! That's great stuff! Toss me another!! Seth cheered, eyes closed happily and a tinge of pink starting to form on the bridge of his nose.   
  


(Uh...oh...)  
  


Yami!! Not here...   
  
Seto scolded the rather unsatiable dark spirit and walked into the living room with some freshly popped popcorn. Yami followed along making groping motions with his right hand, a playful smirk on his face. The other's greeted them and happily relieved Seto of the popcorn, or to narrow it a bit more, Joey happily relieved him of it. The two boys sat down onto the couch, Yami pulling Seto onto his lap and cradling his uke in his arms. The others seemed unfazed, used to the two boys being lovers.   
  
You know...things are awfully quiet, Seto pondered, snuggling his face into the crook of Yami's neck.  
  
So, you notice to? Joey stated between handfuls of popcorn.  
  
Truthfully they all noticed. It was hard to not notice the lack of Marik, Bakura, and Seth.   
  
Mai stretched and snatched some popcorn from Joey before he could eat it all, Honda's still missing...and those damn yami's of yours are gone to.   
  
Well, Honda probably got lost somewhere along the third hallway, Mokuba piped up and grabbed some popcorn to.  
  
All right, all right! I know where this is going! Fine, I'll go look for that damn priest, Joey sighed and put down the bowl of popcorn.   
  
Giving them all a sad farewell look like he was rushing off to his death, Joey headed down the hallway wondering where a bunch of psychotic yami's would go. Well, Seth was normally popping out of no where, glomping him, calling him puppy, then dragging him to the closest room or closet. That was sort of why he had noticed something was wrong. It had just been to long since his last glomp. As he turned a corner, he bumped into someone. Stepping back he came face to face with Pegasus.  
  
Joey sweat dropped at stared questionably at the creator of the cards, Pegasus...what are you doing in Seto's mansion??  
  
Pegasus gave him a confused look and scratched his head, Honestly Joey-boy, I don't know. I was just going downstairs to my kitchen for a drink this morning...and somehow ended up in this house...  
  
Joey just looked a little surprised, Huh...that's weird. Well, knowing Seth this place probably has a portal hidden in one of the closets. Might as well come along with me, otherwise you'll just get lost.  
  
Pegasus agreed and they continued down the hallways, opening doors every now and then to see if the yamis were in there. They didn't find the yamis, but they did find a lot of other interesting stuff. One room was nothing but a bathroom, equipped with sauna and fountain. Another room had a torture chamber in it (neither bothered to think about this for to long) and another door opened up to a beach instead of a room. Joey and Pegasus pocked their heads in, but jumped back when a duel monster jumped out of the water and nearly bit their heads off. They closed that door and quickly walked away, deciding to not open any more doors.   
  
They were turning yet another corner when they heard yelling not far off. Both ran to where the noise was and came upon quite a scene. Good ol' Honda had found Seth for them.   
  
I am not Little John for the one-hundreth time! I'm Honda and I'm trying to find the restroom!!! Honda yelled at the darker version of Seto.  
  
Seth just smiled and patted Honda on the back, seemingly oblivious to what the other was saying, Now, now, Little John! We have much more important things to do then go pee! We must steal from the rich! Give to the poor!  
  
Joey sweat dropped, Um...what are you two talking about?  
  
Honda looked over at them and smiled in relief, Thank god, am I glad to see you buddy. Seth has gone completely crazing! He thinks he's Robin Hood and I'm Little John.  
  
HARK DOWN YONDER!! Seth cried and then rushed over to glomp Joey against him, My love! Maid Marian!! And Prince John! Back you evil man, for the lovely lady shall never love you!!!!!   
  
WHA DO YA MEAN, MAID MARIAN!!!! Joey yelled and tried to pry himself from Seth's grip.   
  
Did...he just call me Prince John? Pegasus asked with a not-that-enthusiastic look on his face.   
  
Don't play naive with me! You have drained the poor people of their money with your taxes and then you dared to kidnap Maid Marian and try to force her to marry you! But Little John and I shall not allow it any more!! Seth cried while pointing a finger accusingly at Pegasus.  
  
I AM NOT LITTLE JOHN!!  
  
WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO BE THE WOMAN!!  
  
Seth ignored them all and clapped his hands. They were all suddenly dressed in clothes that fit their role in his weird little fantasy game. Which meant Pegasus was in a king's outfit with a crown that was to big for his head, Honda was in a tunic and tights, Seth was also in a tunic with tights and arrows strapped to his back, and Joey was in Maid Marian's dress.  
  
Joey took one look at his new clothes and starting cussing Seth out, who was to busy glaring dangerously at Pegasus and preparing an arrow to fire with. Pegasus's eyes widened and he screamed, turning and running away from Seth who followed behind firing arrows and dragging Joey along who in turn dragged Honda along as well.  
  


(Hee hee...)  


  
Yami smiled when he kissed Seto softly on the lips and was awarded a soft purr from the other. He oh so loved moments like this when they could just snuggle close and enjoy each other's warmth and love. He dipped down and planted another soft kiss on Seto's nose, then his jaw and then his neck. As he continued to shower the other's face and neck with kisses, he silently acknowledged Bakura and Marik who had entered the living room and sat down next to their hikaris.   
  
So...where have you two been? Ryou asked his dark.  
  
Bakura shrugged and popped a few of the leftover popcorn into his mouth, In the garage formulating plans to kill off the pharaoh.  
  
It's so nice to know I'm so loved, Yami remarked sarcastically, then returned to spoiling his koi with kisses.  
  
Marik looked at the two boys and his right eye twitched, Can't you two get a room, geez...  
  
Can't...do...that...We'd...never...come out. Oh Yami... Seth answered between each kiss on his lips, gasping in bliss as Yami dropped down to suck on the skin of his neck.  
  
Yugi grabbed some grapes from a bowl, So...where's Seth?  
  
Bakura chuckled evilly, Well, he ran out of the garage thinking he was Robin Hood.  
  
Came the question from everyone in the room, including Seto who had sat up and looked at the albino with concern much to Yami's displeasure.  
  
Well, we were making are plans and I offered him some Pepsi right? Well, after three bottles of Pepsi he started bouncing around the garage singing Me and Joey, sitting in a tree.' Then he suddenly just froze, his hands and right eye twitching, before he ran out shouting that he was Robin Hood and had to go find Little John and Maid Marian, Bakura informed them all, smiling at the funny memory of it.  
  
Everyone looked at each other with wide eyes. At that exact moment Pegasus came running into the living room screaming his ass off. He didn't stop but jumped right through the open window and continued to run off into the horizon. Not long after, Seth came in dragging Joey and Honda behind him while furiously looking around for something. The sight of Seth and Honda in tights and Joey in a dress, of course, caused everyone to start giggling. Cept Ryou, Mokuba, and Yugi who just laughed right out loud without care. Seto was to busy staring disbelievingly at Seth to really laugh at the situation himself.  
  
Ra damnit! Prince John escaped, but take comfort my love for he shall not return for fear of my arrow!! Seth cried out triumphantly and hugged Joey close to him in a loving embrace.   
  
Honda cursed at them all laughing and went to sit down next to Otogi.  
  
Otogi smirked and raised an eyebrow, And who are you supposed to be?  
  
Honda scowled at his teasing smirk, Little John...whas it to ya?  
  
See, Maid Marian! Hail yonder, my merry men! Seth announced and saluted Yugi, Mokuba, and Ryou who saluted back and laughed harder.   
  
Seto rubbed his temples in distress, causing a worried look from Yami, Seth...please...just sit down and chill. No more caffeine for you!  
  
Seth looked at his hikari and bowed, As you wish King Henry! He then swept Joey up into his arms and marched over to the couch, sitting them both down and snuggling into Joey's chest with a yawn. He started talking about their future children before he dosed off into the slumber every one doses off to after an exerting rush of hyperness.   
  
Everyone just blinked at the slumbering yami and sighed with smiles over the rather amusing moment. Things then began to go back to normal. Yugi, Mokuba, and Ryou quit laughing and went back to talking about video games and stuff. Yami went back to kissing and whispering loving stuff to Seto who just giggled at the way his rival/lover was acting. Bakura and Marik got out the blue print paper and went back to their plans to kill off the pharaoh. Mai and Tea started talking girl talk. Otogi patted Honda sympathetically on the head while the brunette continued to scowl over his new clothes. Serenity and Malik went back to playing the video game.   
  
Joey sighed and looked down at the brunette lying on his lap. He brought a hand up and wiped a few strands of hair back into place, his eyes softening slightly when Seth smiled and nuzzled closer against him in his sleep. Seth sure drove his crazy half the time, dressing him up in dresses and stalking him just to glomp him and call him puppy.   
  
But...for all his worth, Joey couldn't help but love the crazy priest back.   
  


((End of Flashback))  
  


Seto: And that's how we learned that my yami got hyper on caffeine. Now we only by caffeine free sodas and drink de-caffinated coffee.  
  
(A loud crash comes from behind him and Pegasus goes running past with Seth closely behind whacking him with a stick and shouting something about the negaverse. Joey follows behind looking like he was going to murder someone and dressed in a Sailor Moon outfit.)  
  
Seto: Eh heh... (sweat drop) Just remember...NEVER give Seth pepsi...  
  


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AnimeFan: Awe, that was sweet, funny, and short. With plenty balance of Yami/Seto and Seth/Joey. ^_^ See, I think these two pairings are adorable. Well, read and review please!!   



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